Navigating the Unexpected: A Journey of Eating Disorder Recovery Abroad

From the tender age of eight, the journey with an eating disorder began — a battle against self-imposed diets and relentless self-judgment. These early seeds of restriction and distorted body image burgeoned into years of struggling with various forms of disordered eating, including restriction, bulimia, binging, and more. A decade of valiant recovery was supported by the accessibility of therapists and psychiatrists, alongside the unwavering support of loved ones. The battles, now seemingly in the past, were about to resurface in an unforeseen venue: a solo trip to Ireland.

Anticipated Solace Meets Old Adversaries

With a celebration of ten years in recovery and turning 33, a meticulously planned solo trip to the Emerald Isle was set. It promised a respite from a stress-laden period of caring for an ailing parent, an interval for relaxation amidst idyllic settings. Cities, tours, landmarks, and catch-ups — all were penned neatly into the itinerary, including a spa day designed for utmost relaxation. Yet, uninvited and stealthy, the voice of an old foe, the eating disorder (ED), crept in unanticipated.

The Clash Returns and a Choice Is Made

Thoughts spiraled from the minute logistics, like whether to walk or take a cab in anticipation of meals sprinkled generously with potatoes, to a critical self-analysis of photos and their worthiness for social media comparison. This resurgence of an ED mindset ignited frustration — how could the specter of the past dim the luster of the present?

Amidst stone-cobbled streets and heritage-rich vistas, a decision crystallized: to choose preferences unabashedly, to revel in Irish Guinness, to savor the sweetness of nightly desserts, and to let go of the mental calculus of calories and self-worth. Walking transformed from an act of calorie offsetting to a celebration of vigor and exploratory zeal. Each step was a testament to health, strength, and the privilege of being.

Birthday Revelations and Kindred Spirits

The morning of the 33rd birthday dawned with the buttery indulgence of Ireland's finest scone, adventures in the Aran Islands, and breathtaking clarity at the Cliffs of Moher. An encounter with a fellow solo traveler underscored a shared journey of recovery, a bond formed by a mutual understanding and the challenges of eating disorders that travelers often face, such as grappling with bloating and digestive changes.

Reflections and Revelations

In Belfast's vibrant nightscape, the echoes of youthful diet conversations stirred a poignant wish — that the journey to body comfort need not be laced with deprivation. As the trip concluded with a memorable meal by the Lagan River, reflections surfaced not just on the path of the past ten days, but also the profound journey traversed since childhood. The birthday trip to Ireland ultimately unwrapped a poignant epiphany: the significance of embracing the present.

recovery, Ireland, eating